Dry White Cooking Wine Questions
Dry white wine for cooking? If a recipe calls for dry white wine, what do you use? Something not too expensive but not cheap and nasty? Also, what do you do with the rest of the bottle? Does it keep in the fridge? How long? Can anyone name any brands/types of wine that are available in Sydney? Thanks
I am making hazelnut chicken in a prosciutto cream sauce I need a dry white wine for the cream sauce.? I have never cooked with wine before. I was hoping someone could help me pick out a dry white wine to cook the sauce with. Below is the list of ingredients. Thank you so much for any suggestions! INGREDIENTS 3 (5 ounce) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, pounded 1/3 inch thick all-purpose flour for dredging 1 egg, beaten 2 tablespoons milk 1 cup chopped hazelnuts 2 tablespoons olive oil 1/2 cup dry white wine 6 large mushrooms, quartered 3 ounces prosciutto, shredded 15 fresh spinach leaves 1 cup heavy whipping cream
I need a Type or Brand of White Wine for use in cooking? All the websites tell me 'don't cook with a wine you wouldn't drink' - - since I'm allergic to the sulfites in wine, I don't drink it. So I'm totally stuck on what I need to buy for a chicken francais recipe that calls for 'dry white wine'. Is there a brand? a type? - I really know nothing about what to buy. As for the allergies, the sulfites are gone due to the cooking process so I can eat the meal I am making. Please help. Thank you. As for the organic wines contain no sulfites - you are incorrect. ALL wines contain sulfites, organics contain much less because they (generally) do not add more sulfites as a preservative. Due to my severe allergy (tongue swelling, throat closing) it is highly recommended that I do not ever drink wine, even the 'organic' or 'no sulfites added' wines. Which is why I checked with my allergy specialist about consuming food cooked with wine - the sulfur dioxide (sulfites) totally disipate during cooking. http://www.ecowine.com/sulfites.htm http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2006/Apr/12/il/FP604120314.html http://www.freywine.com/freywine/no-sulfites-added.html
Dry white wine for making risotto? I'm making a risotto milanese. The recipe specifies I should use a dry white wine. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what kind of wine specifically I should get? I never drink white wines and so I'm white wine clueless! I don't want to spend a whole lot of money; I'm cooking with it, after all. Any advice is great! Thanks everyone! I ended up with a 10 dollar pinot grigio (that actually came from Italy, wonder of wonders). It seemed like a good compromise. I don't drink much white wine (just red), so thanks for all your suggestions. :)
Is there a substitute for white wine vinegar? I'm trying a new recipe for Chicken Piccata and it calls for White Wine Vinegar. I only have Balsamic Vinegar, Raspberry Vinegar and Dry White Cooking Wine. I was trying to avoid going to the store. Below is the recipe I'll be trying. I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks! 4 lg. halved chicken breasts, about 2 lb. 1/4 c. all-purpose flour 2 tbsp. oil 2 tbsp. butter 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. black pepper 1/4 c. wine vinegar 2 tbsp. capers, drained 1/4 c. fresh lemon juice 3 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley 4 thin slices lemon for garnish 4 this slices lime for garnish
White Wine? What is a good inexpensive dry white wine to cook with? I know nothing about wine and I sent my husband to the store, he was supposed to ask for help, anyway he came back with pinot grigio. Good or Bad?
Subsitute for wine in cooking? I don't drink, I'm 20 and I'm just starting to cook. The recipe I want to try calls for a dry white wine to deglaze the pan, but since I'm not old enough and I rarely cook (chicken parmesean is the best I can do right now), I don't feel like asking my 21 year old guy to buy the wine for me. Is there a suitable substitute out there? Thanks for your help.
Question on cooking with wine? When a recipe calls for "1 cup dry white wine" is that the cooking wine you buy in the supermarket or the wine you buy in the liquor store to have with your meal?
alternative for dry wine? I am cooking Valentines day dinner and the recipe for risotto called for dry white wine. I would rather use something else than wine. Any suggestions?
What can I substitute cooking wines with ? I am underage and can't buy wine, but there are some recipes I'd like to cook that consist of using white wine (as well as dry white wine). What can I use instead, is there some type of juice or sugar I can use ? Thanks I don't live with my parents and I live on a non-alcohol campus with bad repercussions for having any form of drinkable alcohol on me.
What wine would complement this? Venetian shrimp... shrimp cooked in a dry white wine, garlic, red pepper flakes, saffron, tomatoes, a cup of chicken broth and lemon zest, served over linguini noodles. Should I use the same type of wine I cook with, or can I serve something else? Would wine even be a good option since the dinner will have that flavor?
Question about cooking with wine....how come when some peeople cook..there is fire? i have a question about cooking with wine....how come when I see people cook on tv with wine..sometimes it causes flare ups but other times it doesnt? How do you know if a flare up would occur or not? that's why i'm afraid of cooking with wine. Is there only one type of wine that would cause flare ups? What is the difference between cooking with white wine or red wine? Would one cause fire? and what is DRY wine? some people cook with that and there are no flare ups!
Wine for a chicken and swiss cheese dish? I'm not a fan of drinking wine, but I enjoy the flavor it adds to dishes when it is used in the cooking process. I'm planning on making a chicken dish with swiss cheese for dinner tonight and would like to substitute a dry white wine for the water my recipe calls for. Problem is, I have no idea what to look for. I know the general rule is not to cook with a wine you wouldn't drink. Whats a girl to do if she doesn't drink wine in the first place?
How long does wine keep? I'm not a wine drinker but I love to use it when I cook. I usually use dry white wine, Marsala or Sherry. How long can I keep those in the frig once they're opened? I have read only 1-2 days, is that true? Do they sell small bottles of those types or what would you suggest I do if I'm only using a small amount about once a month? Thanks
is "old" wine ok to cook with? I've had a bottle of white wine opened (but with a cork plugged into it) in my fridge for 2 weeks (or so). I am cooking and need 2 tablespoons of dry white wine - i don't want to go out and buy a bottle for 2 tablespoons.. do you think the wine I have is still ok to cook with?
Substitute for wine in pasta recipe? This pasta recipe calls for about half a cup of dry white wine but I don't want to use any alcohol in my cooking. Is there a substitute I can use or would it turn out okay if I just totally omit it? It's an Italian pasta- with pesto, garlic, tomatoes, and cannellini beans. Thanks! *For those saying the alcohol cooks out- it actually never completely cooks out- there is always some left, just less.
Cooking with lavander, has anyone else encountered this? A couple years ago we planted some lavender in our garden and this year it's finally grown enough that we've used a little of it in some of our cooking. So far that's only meant spaghetti. One of the things we've noticed is that suddenly we get a much sweeter sauce. We don't use any sugar nor do we use a rather sweet sauce. We do use other fresh herbs and a dry white wine, but the result is only sweet when we add the lavendar. Has anyone else run into this?
What is the best wine? I am looking to use wine for cooking. I need a good dry white and red wine. Any suggestions?
Wine and food combination? I am making chicken cordon bleu with a white wine sauce. Should I serve the same wine I use to cook with the meal? Any suggestions of a good dry white wine or a wine to serve with this? preferably in the 10-20 dollar range
Please, desperate for a subsitute on this wine!!? I am cooking and the recipe asks for Dry White Wine (only 1/4 cup) and I don't have any. It is for an italian pasta dish with prosciutto and peas.. So what would be a good substitute to use for the dry white wine???
Cooking Question.About a recipie.? Chicken Sauté with Onions, Garlic and Basil Recipe by: On Cooking Yield: 6 servings Method: Sautéing Chicken breasts, boneless, skinless approx 8 oz each - 3 Salt and pepper - TT Flour - As needed for dredging Clarified butter - 1 fl. oz. Onions, small dice - 2 oz. Garlic cloves, chopped - 6 Dry white wine - 4 fl. oz. Lemon juice - 1 Tbsp. Tomato concassee - 6 oz. Chicken stock - 4 fl. oz. Fresh basil leaves, chiffonade - 6 1. Split the chicken breasts and remove the cartilage connecting the two halves. 2. Season the chicken with salt and pepper; dredge in flour. 3. Sauté the breasts in the butter, browning them and cooking a´ point. Hold in a warm place. 4. Add the onions and garlic to the fond and butter in the pan; sauté until the onions are translucent. 5. Deglaze the pan with the white wine and lemon juice. 6. Add the tomato concassee and chicken stock. Sauté to combine the flavors; reduce the sauce to the desired consistency. 7. Add the basil to the sauce and return the chicken breasts for reheating. Adjust the seasonings and serve one half breast per portion with a portion of the sauce. How long will it take? a. Prep? b. Cooking time? c. Other time? d. By what time must it be done? e. What item takes the longest to do? What equipment and utensils are needed? When assembling ingredients which raw ingredient will take the longest to prepare? So which ingredient will need to be started first?
cooking help?someone? Chicken Sauté with Onions, Garlic and Basil Recipe by: On Cooking Yield: 6 servings Method: Sautéing Chicken breasts, boneless, skinless approx 8 oz each - 3 Salt and pepper - TT Flour - As needed for dredging Clarified butter - 1 fl. oz. Onions, small dice - 2 oz. Garlic cloves, chopped - 6 Dry white wine - 4 fl. oz. Lemon juice - 1 Tbsp. Tomato concassee - 6 oz. Chicken stock - 4 fl. oz. Fresh basil leaves, chiffonade - 6 1. Split the chicken breasts and remove the cartilage connecting the two halves. 2. Season the chicken with salt and pepper; dredge in flour. 3. Sauté the breasts in the butter, browning them and cooking a´ point. Hold in a warm place. 4. Add the onions and garlic to the fond and butter in the pan; sauté until the onions are translucent. 5. Deglaze the pan with the white wine and lemon juice. 6. Add the tomato concassee and chicken stock. Sauté to combine the flavors; reduce the sauce to the desired consistency. 7. Add the basil to the sauce and return the chicken breasts for reheating. Adjust the seasonings and serve one half breast per portion with a portion of the sauce. 1. What vocabulary words need defined? (Hint: There is approx 18 words for this recipe)
Mahi mahi Recipe I got from here yesterday -? I got the recipe below from a member here yesterday - It calls for 5 pounds -I am only going to be using 1 1/2 - 2 1/4 pounds ... what is the best way to modify this The Best Tasting Mahi Mahi 5 pounds skinned, deboned mahi mahi, cut into chunks 3/4 (4.5 ounce) jar bottled minced garlic 1/2 cup butter, diced 1 large onion, diced 1 1/2 lemons, juiced 1/2 cup dry white wine 1 1/2 (10 ounce) cans diced tomatoes with green chile peppers salt and pepper to taste 8 ounces shredded pepperjack cheese DIRECTIONS Preheat grill for high heat. Place mahi mahi in an aluminum foil pan, and toss with the garlic to coat. Distribute butter evenly throughout pan. Spread onions over fish. Pour the lemon juice, wine, and diced tomatoes with green chile peppers over the fish. Season with salt and pepper. Tightly cover pan with aluminum foil. Place pan on the grill grate, and cook fish 35 minutes, or until easily flaked with a fork. Sprinkle with cheese before serving. Perfect - that is exactly what I thought ... thank you
Any cooks out there? I want to make this chicken penne bolognese dish but it has a half cup dry white wine in it. I am allergic to wine - is there anything I can substitute for this that will taste good?? Thank you thank you ;)
what your best risotto recipe? 6 Cups Chicken Broth 1/4 Cup Butter 3 Tablespoons Olive Oil 1/2 Cup Finely Chopped Onion 1 1/2 Cups Arborio Or Carnaroli Rice 1/2 Cup Dry White Wine 1 Tube Goat's Cheese (4oz) Coarsely Chopped, Plus 4 Slices For Serving 1/4 Cup Coarsely Chopped Sun-Dried Tomatoes (Ones Covered In Oil) 2 Cups Washed, Chopped Arugula Lettuce 1/2 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese 2 Tablespoons Butter Salt & Pepper Heat the broth in a pot on the stove, and keep warm on low heat. In a heavy pot, heat the 1/4 cup of butter with the olive oil. Add the chopped onion, and cook until it is translucent. Add the rice and stir it well to coat with the onion mixture. Add the wine and cook, stirring constantly until it is absorbed. Begin adding the warm broth by the ladleful, stirring until it is absorbed. Continue cooking the rice in this manner for about 20 minutes. At that time, stir in the goat's cheese or you can add swizz cheese works just as great..., arugula and tomatoes.
Which of these sounds better? In a couple days Im making a nice Cornish hen dinner for my hubby. So I went through tons and tons of recipes and narrowed it down to two I think he will like. To give you a little insight on his taste buds, he likes seasoned flavors if its not overly seasoned, he hates most veggies and fruits are a no go, and basically that leads me to no weird glazes and such, just something nicely seasoned, oh and we both love garlic, onions and mushrooms...maybe I should have went with steak but we have that too often. Anyways here are the two recipes I narrowed it down to...Fell free to toss in your own recipe if it meets his tastes and you think we'll enjoy it.Also what would some good side dishes be that wont be too filling along with the hens?? Thanks a bunch! Recipe #1 Cornish game hens are stuffed with a seasoned mixture of cooked rice and mushrooms. Cook Time: 1 hour, 30 minutes Ingredients: * 1 package long-grain and wild rice mix, 6 ounces * 1/2 cup chopped celery * 1 can (about 4 ounces) chopped mushrooms, drained * 1/4 cup melted butter * 1 tablespoon soy sauce * 4 Cornish game hens (approximately 1 pound each) Preparation: Directions for stuffed Cornish hens Cook rice according to package directions; cool. Add celery, chopped mushrooms, butter, and soy sauce; toss lightly to mix. Stuff hens; place in roasting pan. Roast, loosely covered at 375° for 30 minutes. Remove cover and continue roasting Cornish hens for about 60 minutes, or until done. Baste Cornish hens with butter during last 30 minutes, if desired. serves 4 but will be halved for 2 servings Recipe #2 Hens are roasted with a savory wine mixture. Cook Time: 1 hour Ingredients: * 1 tablespoon fresh rosemary or 1 teaspoon dried rosemary * 1 cup dry white wine * 4 Rock Cornish Game hens, halved or quartered * 1/4 cup flour * 1 teaspoon salt * 1/4 teaspoon black pepper * 2 teaspoon chopped fresh parsley * 1 clove garlic, halved * 1/4 cup butter * 16 ounces sliced mushrooms Preparation: Soak rosemary in wine for about 30 minutes, while preparing Cornish hens for baking. Wash game hen parts and pat dry with paper towels. In a paper bag or food storage plastic bag, put flour, salt, pepper, and parsley. Place pieces of hen in bag and shake well to coat thoroughly with the flour mixture. Cook garlic clove halves in melted butter in skillet until barely browned; remove garlic. Add pieces of hen, brown, then remove to a baking dish. Saute mushrooms in butter remaining in skillet; add to the baking dish. Pour rosemary and wine mixture over Cornish game hen parts and bake in 350° oven 30 to 45 minutes, until Cornish hens are tender. Also 4 servings cut into 2!
Can beets be micowaved instead of roasted? I found this recipe for beet risotto...? Beetroot risotto with grated Parmigiano and field arugala Ingredients (serves six) 2 cups arborio rice 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 shallots, finely sliced 1 teaspoon thyme 2 cups dry white wine 4 tablespoons vegetable stock 3 whole beets 1 teaspoon tarragon 3 tablespoons butter, cold and cubed 2 large handfuls grated Parmigiano Reggiano Arugula greens (for garnish) Preparation Roast the whole beets in 400 F oven until tender (about 40 minutes). Allow to cool, then peel and dice into small cubes. Sauté shallots in olive oil, then add rice and thyme. Stir constantly to coat all rice with oil. Add wine and continue to cook approximately 15 minutes until slightly tender, stirring the entire time. Remove from heat and allow to cool to room temperature. Return to heat and add chicken stock, stirring constantly so as not to burn the rice, until all liquid is absorbed. Stir in cubed beets and grated Parmigiano, tarragon, and cold cubed butter. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve steaming hot and garnish with arugula greens tossed with oil, salt and pepper, and a few large shavings of Parmigiano to top this classical Italian dish. http://www.praguepost.com/P03/2006/Art/0126/featu2.php Option- Could add peas? I am assuming that vegetable stock can substitute for chicken stock... Greenghost, no I don't usually read this czech paper. I was answering ethnic questions in the recipe section, when someone posted this link, but not the recipe...someone wanted Italian risotto with pork and peas that was adopted by the czechs or something like that..My grandma used to make pickled eggs with beets, so I was intrigued by red rice and maybe adding green peas. (Christmas rice and peas?) .This recipe doesn't have pork and Steve G already has posted one of his prize winning recipes there, but this was interesting.Jack Lalane likes beets in his juicing. He says they keep him young.Seems to work for him.
is this recipe for stuffed chicken breast good? well it needs a pressure cooker, and i dont have that. can i cook it using other ways but except oven and pressure cooker. plus, do u think the recipe's good, or can u suggest more so that it'll be better? thanks STUFFED CHICKEN BREASTS: Ingredients: 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves 2 1/2 ounces sliced mushrooms, drained 1/2 cup fine dry bread crumbs 1/2 teaspoon dried sage, crushed 1/4 teaspoon dried marjoram, crushed 1 dash garlic salt 1 dash black pepper 2 tablespoons chicken broth 1/2 cup chicken broth 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1 tablespoon dry white wine Directions: Rinse chicken and pat dry. Place each chicken breast half between 2 sheets of plastic wrap. Working from center to the edges, pound lightly with the flat side of a meat mallet to 1/8 inch thickness. Set aside. In a small mixing bowl stir together mushrooms, bread crumbs, sage, marjoram, garlic salt, black pepper, and 2 tablespoons chicken broth. Spoon one fourth of the mixture onto the short end of each chicken breast. Fold in long sides of chicken and roll up into a spiral, starting from the short edge. Secure with wooden toothpicks. Place in a 4 or 6 quart pressure cooker and add 1/2 cup chicken broth or stock. Lock lid in place. Place pressure regulator on vent pipe, if you have a first generation cooker. Over high heat, bring cooker up to pressure. Reduce heat just enough to maintain pressure and pressure regulator rocks gently; cook for 5 minutes. Quick release the pressure. Carefully remove lid. Remove chicken to a serving platter; keep warm. For sauce, strain liquid in cooker through a sieve; return liquid to cooker. In a small bowl stir together cornstarch and wine. Add to liquid in cooker. Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Cook and stir for 2 minutes more. Serve sauce over chicken. This recipe for Stuffed Chicken Breasts serves/makes 4
Just how GROSS does this cream of mushroom soup seem? Because it WAS!? I wanted to surprise my boyfriend this evening by making him some cream of mushroom soup, meat loaf and garlic bread. Everything else turned out just fine, except for the soup. I'll leave a link to the recipe at the end of my little rant lol. I've never made soup before in my life, much less a cream soup, MUCH less one requiring a cup of dry white wine. I must have the worst perception when it comes to cooking, but it was downright DISGUSTING. I followed the directions to a T!! It was like straining old soup particles under the tap, then adding wine, water and cream. I would have preferred to buy an .89 cent variety instead! It did NOT taste like a cream soup, or anything containing mushrooms. A drunk would LOVE this soup. And this coming from a professional CHEF?! Ugh ... this soup killed the dinner! /End rant. But honestly, haha. http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_70288,00.html
What is your opinion of this chicken casserole recipe? Chicken and broccoli casserole Prep time 30 minutes Cook time 90 minutes Serves 4-6 1 3-4 lb whole cut up chicken 2 bay leaves 1 head of broccoli cut up. Not too small three-bite size maybe. 3 cans condensed cream of mushroom soup, don’t dilute 1 ½ + 1 cups of seasoned croutons. I find small square ones work the best. 1 cup grated mozzarella or swiss cheese ½ cup dry white wine or Marsala if you prefer 2 eggs 2 tsp curry powder 1 tsp salt ½ tsp garlic powder 1/3 tsp pepper 1/3 tsp basil First par boil the chicken with the bay leaves for 40 minutes. While the chicken is cooking, combine all other ingredients except broccoli and 1 cup of the total 2 ½ cups croutons in a 9x13 baking dish mixing well. Once you have mixed well, add the broccoli distributing evenly. Save the 1 cup croutons for later. Preheat the oven to 350F Once the chicken is done, remove from heat and when cool enough to handle, de-bone the chicken into three-bite size pieces and add to the casserole also distributing evenly. Discard the bay leaves. Make sure the chicken and broccoli are completely covered in the sauce. Hint: don’t pitch that liquid, instead strain it put into a plastic container freeze and save it for recipes or soups calling for chicken stock. Hint: you could put the chicken in the casserole bone in to save time but I find this dish is much better if you can just spoon it on your plate and dig in without those pesky bones. Bake the casserole covered with foil on the middle rack for 40 minutes. Uncover and top with the remaining croutons and cook uncovered for another 10 minutes. Remove from oven and let stand 10 minutes and serve. This is pretty much an all-in-one meal so no need for sides, although if you want another side I would recommend a garden salad. A nice dry white wine goes wonderfully as well. Bon Appetite!
Which of these recipes would you make? 1) Farfalle with Chicken, Tomato, Caramelized Onions, and Goat Cheese: 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 large red onions, thinly sliced 2 tablespoons Sherry wine vinegar 1 teaspoon sugar 8 ounces farfalle 1 cup dry white wine 1 cup low-salt chicken broth 6 heirloom tomatoes, cored, chopped (about 5 cups) 2 cups shredded cooked chicken (from 1/2 rotisserie chicken) 1/2 cup thinly sliced basil leaves 2 tablespoons chopped fresh marjoram 3 cups baby spinach 3 ounces soft fresh goat cheese, crumbled OR.... 2) Boneless chicken breasts with red chili sauce For red chili sauce 4 dried New Mexico red chilies*, stemmed and seeded (wear rubber gloves) 1 small onion (about 1/4 pound), halved 3 large garlic cloves 2 tablespoons raisins 1 1/2 teaspoons salt For chicken: 2 tablespoons nonfat plain yogurt 2 large garlic cloves, minced and mashed to a paste with 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin four 5-ounce skinless boneless chicken breast halves 1 teaspoon vegetable oil 1 tablespoon coarsely grated Münster or....... 3) Grilled Chicken Breasts with Gazpacho salsa 1 garlic clove, minced and mashed to a paste with 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon red-wine vinegar 2 tablespoons olive oil plus additional for brushing the chicken 2 tablespoons water 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin, or to taste Tabasco to taste 1 slice of homemade-type white bread, torn into pieces 2 plum tomatoes, seeded and chopped fine 1/2 cup finely chopped seeded peeled cucumber 1/3 cup finely chopped green bell pepper 1/4 cup finely chopped red onion 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh coriander or parsley leaves, or to taste 1 whole boneless chicken breast with skin (about 1 pound), halved Let me know what you think--it's a special occasion dinner for 2!
Do you have a great, simple idea for a pan sauce for pork chops? Full disclosure: it's really pork tenderloin medallions, but I figured that what was good with one would be good with the other. I don't want to go to the store for anything--it's pouring down rain! Here's what I have: chicken broth; white wine; plenty of herbs; butter; the usual assortment of spices; dried cranberries; apples (but they're Pink Lady and I don't know if those are good for cooking...?) Obviously I'm not looking for a sauce that uses them all! Just something simple to enhance the pork. Any ideas? Thanks!
I read about three ways to barbecue fish. Which do you think is best? According to Reader's Digest, I can: a. sprinkle the inside of the whole fish with salt, pepper and lemon juice, then place on a greased grill and brown carefully on both sides. Baste with melted butter and white wine. b. sprinkle inside with same mixture as above and then place in a special hinged grill. Baste with a soya sauce basting mix or lemon juice, oil and tarragon. Flip sides after browning on each. c. Baste with oil mixed with lemon juice, sugar and white wine and salt and pepper on the inside. Wrap carefully in greased aluminum foil, two layers, and place over the coals to cook. I also thought of the rotisserie but it seems impractical and I'm afraid I may burn it or dry it out. What do you recommend?
You Know You're a Drunkard When; (Part 1 of 3)? I spent most of my life drunk, trying to get a drink or doing time for stuff that happened when drunk. That was then; I haven't had a drink, or anything else, since 12/5/95! The drink is a metaphor for all the other stuff I did in my misspent youth, middle age, etc.! I DON'T DRINK NO MORE By WILLY 11/24/04 9:30 p.m. G-Harp, Key of D, Slow Shuffle I started drinking as a child Uncles gin and Camels was my style I slept it off then; was too young to go wild! I drank to get incoherent The older I got wilder I went I'd go to a bar with money leave without a cent! (Spoken: And wonder who left the dents? In my car, head, etc.?) (Chorus) To me I'll just have one drink today Is like sayin, I'll only stick it in half way! When I start drinkin ain't no way to stop Which is how I got to know a few cops! I got tired of being on the outside of open doors And being wounded though I never been to war All of this and more is why I don't drink no more! I now know that I can't take even one sip Some say you can't teach a dog new tricks I'll bet ya the dog never woke up with a fat lip! (Spoken: And not able to remember who or why it's there!) (Chorus) To me I'll just have one drink today Is like sayin, I'll only stick it in half way! When I start drinkin ain't no way to stop Which is how I got to know a few cops! At a bar I'd tell the tender; shut up and pour I need a drink to relax just makes me snore I drank to get drunk; but I don't drink no more!!!... @2004 Willy Senkiwsky "The Blues are the roots, and the other music is the fruits." One of Willie Dixon's favorite sayings, from I Am the Blues by Willie Dixon with Don Snowden (DaCapo, 1989) "Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule. Nevertheless one had better know the rules, for they sometimes guide in doubtful cases, though not often." --Samuel Butler (1612-80), English poet, Author' "Simple music is the hardest music to play and blues is simple music." --Albert Collins Willys cynical thought for the day; Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did you ever see a man wearing a shirt that buttons down the freaking back? You Know You're a Drunkard When; If a party runs out of booze, you sock the host and drink his nosebleed. Your wife asks you to pick up a canned ham, and you show up with a case of Hamm's in cans. Interventions have become so frequent that you just leave the folding chairs set up in your living room. The arresting officer tells you that you have the right to remain silent and you waive that right so you can finish singing Enter Sandman. You know how to say "Where are my pants?" in seven languages. You have a lot of respect for that 80-year-old guy at the end of the bar, but you know from experience that he's a dirty fighter. You go on week-long benders just so you'll have a cool story to tell at your AA meetings. You got in a fist fight with a wino over how long a bottle of Thunderbird should be allowed to "breathe". You're willing to go on the wagon, so long as it's heading for a bar. You got pissed off when you forgot whatever you were drinking to forget. You have so much alcohol in your system that your cabbie has to be HazMat certified. If a wino jumped off a building, you'd bravely leap forward to break the fall of his bottle. You install shag carpet because it's easier to hang on to. Embalming fluid would be an improvement. Your last Breathalyzer reading was "No Fucking Way." Distilleries fight over the billboard nearest to your place of residence. The state has installed a Breathalyzer interlock device on your shoes. You drew up a living will that states very clearly that you do not want the booze tube removed under any circumstances. Your friends often substitute "Good night" with "Hey, you can't sleep here." When you donate blood they store it in oak barrels. You openly commit crimes just to learn new pruno recipes. Your name is police code for Public Intoxication. You're fairly sure a letter to Dear Abby signed "Want to Leave the Bum, But Can't" was written by your liver. Your favorite drinking game is Do a Shot Every Time You Do a Shot. Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack and a pizza. TV beer ads have started addressing you by name. Someone offers you palm wine and you think they're out of glassware. You brush your teeth with bourbon. It hasn't helped cut down on cavities, but who cares? When a panhandler asks, "Can you give me a quarter for some beer?" you reply, "Okay, but I want to taste it first." You know heavy drinking makes you smarter because you can never remember doing anything stupid while blacked out. You have a split personality-every time you meet someone with booze you want to split it with them. You were so drunk at the office Xmas party that you kissed your own wife. You've never been to Afghanistan or Pakistan, but you're a frequent visitor to Imtoodrunktostan. You become sexually aroused by the tapping of a keg. You know you can use Jagermeister as cough syrup. And visa versa. Your 86s are passed down to your grandchildren. You have a sweet tooth for alcohol-in fact, your whole mouth likes it. You spill so much booze at home your dog slurs his barks. Your credit history is composed entirely of bar tabs. When you get a cold you get a bottle of whiskey, do shots, and it's gone - not the cold, the whiskey. You're always shaking hands, even when there's no one else around. Whenever you bend your elbow your mouth snaps open. When your boss asks you to work overtime you demand time and a fifth. You get held up almost every time you go home - in fact it's the only way you can get home. You'd be happy to go on the wagon if you could find one with a bar. Your favorite bar is four blocks away - six blocks coming back. When you order a hound for the rouse. The Red Cross uses your blood to sterilize their instruments. You're half scotch, and your ancestors aren't from Scotland. You know how to handle your liquor - with both hands. You hate the very sight of liquor, which is why you hide it in your stomach. You can tell what bar you're in by the bottoms of their tables. A liter of scotch isn't enough to invite a friend over for a drink. Your first science fair project was a still. You know most of the people in a bar and can't remember one of their names. Anyone who kisses you must legally wait half an hour to drive. They have to mix your blood with tonic water before giving it to anyone. You've filed assault charges against a coffee table. When you're out in the street, you are literally "out" in the street. You think of drinking beer as "sobering up," You can say "Whiskey, please" in 34 languages, but can't understand "Last call" in English. Your liver takes sides against you during an intervention. You know better than going near an open flame while you're bleeding. Your bed looks a helluva lot like a park bench, and your bedroom looks a helluva lot like a park. You need a blood transfusion to legally enter a dry county. Your flask is spring-loaded. You judge cologne by its bouquet and finish. Your liver is in the Federal Witness Protection Program. You enjoy cooking with wine, and sometimes you even put it in the food. You've only been drunk once in your life, and so far it's lasted twenty-three years. You liver has a restraining order on you. You can tell the difference between a bottle of Jack and a bottle of Jim by the sound they make hitting the back of your head. Alcoholism doesn't run in your family-it takes its own sweet time. You've been cut off during communion. You wonder why they call it Southern Comfort when they know damn well there is nothing comfortable about being handcuffed in the back of a squad car. Growing-up means buying better booze, getting older means getting used to the cheap stuff again. You miss the old days when you were younger than the cop that finds you sleeping in a dumpster. You were excited about the Olsen twins turning "legal" until you realized they still aren't old enough to buy you a drink. You resent it when people call you a raving alcoholic, because you've never been to a rave in your life. You keep a bottle of liquor next to your bed so you can have breakfast in bed when you wake up. You consider anything less than 80 proof a chaser. You've eaten 87 packets of honey mustard because on the label it lists "white wine" as an ingredient. You have convinced yourself that you're not drinking alone so long as your friends Jack, Jim and Johnnie are over. Your wardrobe is divided into Summer, Winter and Things You Woke Up Wearing. The third category includes a number of thongs. Your BAC is measured in proof. You measure time by drinks, as in: "Hold on a shot, the movie doesn't start for another four bourbons." To you "Last call!" sounds just like "Please don't leave! We love you and you're charming wit!" You don't use cologne or aftershave because you have a moral objection to alcohol going anywhere but down your throat. You'd exercise more but when you sweat it smells like booze and that makes you thirsty. You always finish your drinks because there are sober people in China. When you come home to find your house burglarized the first thing you check is your liquor cabinet. You'll join A.A. when they start serving cocktails at the meetings. Your ATM is a Dumpster full of recyclable cans. You'll sleep through a train wreck, yet spring awake to the sound of a bottle top turning. You can order a beer in 17 different languages but don't know how to pronounce "Perrier." When a cop asks, "Have we been drinking?" you reply, "Do you really think I'd drink with the likes of you?" You freak out when you wake up in your own bed. You'd have passed the sobriety test if you hadn't mistaken the Breathalyzer for a bugle. Your waking thought is, "Wow, look at all the gum stuck to the bottom of the table." You got in trouble at work because your standard greeting is, "Hey, let's do a shot!" You cursed the St. Bernard who rescued you because he had the nerve to bring only one lousy liter of brandy. You can hear someone whisper "free beer" from three blocks away. You consider a bottle of cheap whiskey and two shot glasses a very romantic gift. You hate it when men give you flowers because, hey-you can't drink flowers. You dream of the beautiful day when all races, religions, creeds and colors finally get it together and pitch in to buy you a case of decent scotch. You show up to brewery tours wearing fins and a snorkel. You tell your friends your dog's name is "Time for a Beer Run" but you call him "Hurry Up." The tooth fairy left you shots of Rumpleminze. You've convinced yourself your liver isn't distended-it's pregnant. With a new liver. You play the same song 20 times in a row at top volume at three in the morning and are certain the neighbors don't mind because, you know, it's such a kick-ass song. You think the porcelain hat looks good on you. Your idea of karaoke is falling off the stage while yelling "Rock and roll!" into the microphone. Your house is four times farther from the bar on the way back. Your alarm clock is synchronized with the nearest liquor store's opening time. You have threatened to murder and marry the same person in the span of a single happy hour. You are the answer to the question, "What kind of idiot pukes in a bidet?" While in the drunk tank your friends tried to sneak you a fifth of Beam in a cake. You're personal trainer is a bartender. You've known Jack Daniels so long you refer to him as John. You watch Behind the Music and think "That's really not that much alcohol." The bartender is in the weeds and you're the only person in the bar. You refuse to play Golden Tee because there is no beer cart girl. Think box wine is great; eagerly awaiting box whiskey. You get cut off in absentia. You won't rent an apartment that doesn't have a bar and liquor store within two blocks. You're favorite cocktail is one quarter vodka, one quarter vodka, one half vodka and topped up with vodka. You get angry when guys who can't hold their liquor keep stepping on your fingers. You get nervous when there are only three bottles of liquor left in your house. You forget how pants work. http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/ From; WILLYS JOKES 1/22/06 You Know You're a Drunkard When; The question, for the idiots wondering, is how to get into a chicks panties!
Can this be done differently? CAN I SUBSTITUTE THE CHEDDAR CHEESE FOR MOZZARELA? CAN THE RED WINE BE SUBSTITUTED FOR WHITE? SPINACH - STUFFED FLANK STEAK 2 (1 lb.) beef flank steaks 1 beaten egg 1 (10 oz.) pkg. frozen chopped spinach, cooked & drained 1/2 c. shredded sharp American cheese (2 oz.) 1/2 tsp. ground sage 1/4 tsp. salt Dash pepper 3/4 c. soft bread crumbs 2 tbsp. cooking oil 1 (8 oz.) can tomato sauce 1/2 c. dry red wine 1/2 c. chopped onion 1 clove garlic, minced 2 tbsp. all-purpose flour Pound each steak with meat mallet to 1/4 inch thickness; set aside. Combine egg, spinach, cheese, sage, salt and pepper. Stir in soft bread crumbs. Spread spinach filling over steaks. Starting from narrow side, roll up each steak like a jelly roll. Tie with string. In large skillet, brown steak rolls on all sides in hot oil, transfer rolls to a 10 x 6 x 2 inch baking dish. Combine tomato sauce, wine, onion and garlic; pour over meat. Cover with foil; bake at 350 degrees until tender, about
How many of these did you know about? A sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then >>slide a >> knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. >> (hmmmmmm...) >> >> ============================================ >> Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps >>them >> neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs >>to. >> >> ============================================ >> For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and >>put >> Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They >>won't >> refreeze. (wish I had known this for the last 40 years!) >> >> ============================================ >> To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the >>freezer for >> a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside >>down. The >> wax will fall out. >> >> ==================! ======== ======================= >> Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, >>dipped >> in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease >>that is!). >> >> ============================================ >> Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt >> BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel. >> >> ============================================= >> Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a >>pair of >> scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to >>throw >> away rusted and unused and smelly pads, I finally decided that >>this would >> be much more economical. Now a box of SO.S pads last me >>indefinitely! >> In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get 'sharpened'' this >>way! >> >> ============================================= >> Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little >>hydrogen >> peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. >> Works >> every time! (Now, where to put the body?) LOL >> >> ============================================= >> Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal >> for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the >>streaks. >> Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don't >>wash windows >> on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably >>streak. >> >> ============================================ >> Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a >>lovely >> light scent in each room when the light is turned on. >> >> ============================================ >> Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes >>will >> smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this >>with towels >> and linen. >> >> ============================================= >> Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at >>least 3 >> hours prior to burning. >> >> ============================================= >> To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and >>add the >> flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust >>and dirt >> and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a >>charm! >> >> ============================================= >> To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a >>drop or >> two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and >>bring to >> a boil on stove top. >> >> ============================================== >> Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring >> in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. >> >> ============================================= >> Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator >>and it will >> keep for weeks. >> >> ============================================= >>&n bsp; When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help >>bring out the >> corn's natural sweetness >> >> .============================================= >> Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on >>your >> forehead. The throbbing will go away. >> >> ============================================= >> Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes >>for future >> use in casseroles and sauces ......... Left over wine? >>What's that? :) >> >> ============================================= >> To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the >>area >> and you will experience instant relief. >> >> ============================================= >> Ants, ants, ants ! everywhe re ... Well, they are said to never >>cross a chalk >> line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or >>wherever ants >> tend to march. See for yourself. >> >> ============================================ >> Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and >>better still, >> leaves a lovely smell to the shine. >> >> ============================================ >> When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before >>resorting to >> tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the >>splinter, and >> then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly >>and easily. >> >> ===================================== >> Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer........ >> Clean a toilet. >> Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and >>flush. >> The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China. >> >> ============================================ >> Clean a vase. >> To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill >>with water >> and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets. >> >> ============================================ >> Polish jewelry. >> Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse >>the >> jewelry for two minutes. >> >> ============================================= >> Clean a thermos bottle. >> Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, >>and let soak >> for an hour (or longer, if necessary). >> >> ============================================= >> Unclog a drain. >> Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer tablets >>down the >> drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few >>minutes, >> and then run the hot water. >> >> ============================================= >> Do your friends a favor. Pass this timely (and some >>not-so-timely) >> information on to a friend! I just did. >> Makes you wonder about ingesting Alka Seltzer, doesn't it? >>
What do you think about this recipe? I was thinking of replacing the chicken with prawns & maybe adding asparags what do you think? •4-6 chicken breasts •1/3 cup butter •2/3 cup white wine (Sauvignon Blanc works especially well due to the herbaceous character) •2 10 oz. or one 14 oz. can(s) cream of mushroom soup •4 oz. cream cheese •2 cloves garlic •2 finely chopped green onions •1 package of dry Italian salad dressing mix •16 oz. pasta - linguine works very well •Sun-dried tomatoes •Parmesan cheese PREPARATION: Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Melt butter in large pot and stir in package of Italian salad dressing mix. Next stir in wine, mushroom soup and cream cheese until well-blended. Continue to heat (without boiling) mixture for about 5 minutes, sauce should be creamy and all cream cheese should be melted in. Place chicken in single layer in baking dish and pour the above mixture over. Cook for 50-55 minutes. Cook pasta about 15 minutes before chicken is done. Drain pasta and serve chicken and sauce over the linguine. Top with sun-dried tomatoes and parmesan cheese. Don't forget to save some of the white wine to complement dinner!
question about cooking with wine....how come when some peeople cook..there is fire? i have a question about cooking with wine....how come when I see people cook on tv with wine..sometimes it causes flare ups but other times it doesnt? How do you know if a flare up would occur or not? that's why i'm afraid of cooking with wine. Is there only one type of wine that would cause flare ups? What is the difference between cooking with white wine or red wine? Would one cause fire? and what is DRY wine? some people cook with that and there are no flare ups!
French Entree? HELP!? Its my mother's birthday on Sunday and I am throwing a small (10 people) dinner party. I have written a menu including MAIN- White Wine Pan Roasted Chicken Roasted Potatoes Peas a la francaise Roasted Shallots Gravy DESSERT-Creme Brulee (it's her favourite) garnished with strawberries and double cream (im questioning the need for cream, what do you think?) AFTER-Chese-Gruyere, Blue Vein, Vintage Chedder, Brie, Water Crakers Quince Paste Fruit-Pear, white seedless grapes. What can I use for an Entree, it needs to be very light (maybe tomato consume?), vegetarian (god they are annoying ;p), also I live in the country where it is difficult to buy stuff like escargot, pate (quality), or really any specailized food. I know we have some dried truffles (black-from china) and truffle oil, maybe that would be to intense... Im only 16, i dont have a huge amount of money to work with, but i am a very capable cook. hmmm that salad actually sounds like a good idea, i havent heard of Frisee before. What does it taste like? Like I said, i live in the country could i replace it with Rocket or would that be too peppery? Thanks so much guys!
White wine? I've looked at dozens of italian recipes and a lot have called for dry white wine. What is the best white wine to use in italian cooking?
Strange Tips and Hints? Will this be helpfull??? 1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair 2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish 3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes 4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair 5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any 6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea 7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water 8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste 9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it! 10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too 11 Bee stings - meat tenderizer 12. Chigger bite - Preparation H 13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H 14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals) 15. Stinky feet - Jell-O 16. Athletes feet - cornstarch 17 Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub 18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet (Wow, and we drink this stuff) 19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it! 20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper 21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray 22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby 23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls 24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on 25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar! 26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice! 27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak 28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia, soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years! 29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's! 30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste 31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt. 32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel. 33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter 34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight! 35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush! 36. Dirty grout - Listerine 37. Stains on clothes - Colgate 38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup 39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries! 40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again. 41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox, or 2 Bayer aspirin, or just use 7-up instead of water. 42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so! you "squeeze" for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are: Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow So if today was Thursday, you would want red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow , Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.
Delia's way vs Real woman's way? Delias way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Gods sake, you're probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Delias way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. The Real Women's Way: Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year. Delias way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakers. They'll even decorate it for you. Delias way #4: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up". The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while you're cooking, that's tough. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes. Delias way #5: Wrap celery in foil when putting in the fridge and it will keep for weeks. The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff. Delias way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. The Real Women's Way: The Fray Bentos pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it. Delias way #7: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using rubber gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. The Real Women's Way: Go ask the very gorgeous neighbour to do it. Delias way #8: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine? Delias way #9: When catering for an evening buffet, calculate food portions and timings a week in advance, so that you're not rushing on the night. The Real Women's Way: Nip into Marks & Sparks on the way home that evening, and buy everything in packets. Delias way #10:When you have finished the preparation for your buffet, wash up and treat yourself to a glass of wine. The Real Women's Way: Hide the packets and drain the last of that "pre dinner" wine bottle...
Are you a Martha Stewart or real woman type? Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. The Real Women's Way #1: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. The Real Women's Way #2: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. The Real Women's Way #3: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. Martha's way #4: If you accidentally pour salt over a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up". The Real Women's Way #4: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me: The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes. Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting it in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. The Real Women's Way #5: Celery? Never heard of the stuff. Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. The Real Women's Way #6: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it. Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. The Real Women's Way #7: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now BLIND! Martha's way #8: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. The Real Women's Way #8: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it. And finally the most important tip ...... Martha's way #9: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. The Real Women's Way #9: Leftover wine?
This is Cute!? Ever other one is Martha's, then Maxines, so there's no confusion. And ignore the last part about forwarding it. This is cute *Martha's Way* Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. *Maxine's Way * Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway! To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you. If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!" Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. Celery? Never heard of it! (And, anyway, isn't it just full of SALT!?) Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't. Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you. Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!! As usual, if you don't forward this to 1 of your friends within the next 5 minutes, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?
Martha or Maxine? Are you a Martha or Maxine? *Martha's Way* Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. *Maxine's Way * Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway! To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you. If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!" Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. Celery? Never heard of it! Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't. Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you. Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!
No Offence to all yaz WOMEN out there..Meant as a joke...LOL? 1. Nigella's Way Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips . The Real Woman's Way Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Goodness sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. 2. Nigella's Way To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. The Real Woman's Way Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year. 3. Nigella's Way When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. The Real Woman's Way Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions. 4. Nigella's Way If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice. The Real Woman's Way If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough!. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." 5. Nigella's Way Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks The Real Woman's Way It could keep forever. Who eats it? 6. Nigella's Way Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. The Real Woman's Way Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won't care! 7. Nigella's Way If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. The Real Woman's Way Why do I have a man? 8. Nigella's Way Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles The Real Woman's Way left over wine???? Helllloooo Nigella is Nigell ,a man ,so it seemed best to say Nigella cause of the grumps out there that would have given me a roasting and called me A,M,S,P LOL..And it worked cause nearly all of you liked it..Thanks for all the GOOD answers..Best Regards
Delia's Way ?star if you agree? Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent > ice-cream drips . > The Real Woman's Way > Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. > You > are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. > > Delia's Way > To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the > potatoes. > The Real Woman's Way > Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year. > > Delia's Way > When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the > dry > cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the > cake. > The Real Woman's Way > Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions. > > Delia's Way > If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a > potato slice. > The Real Woman's Way > If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh!t. Please > recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it > and I > don't care how bad it tastes." > > > Delia's Way > Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it > will > keep for weeks > The Real Woman's Way > It could keep forever. Who eats it? > > > Delia's Way > Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your > forehead. > The throbbing will go away. > The Real Woman's Way > Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces > of > vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont > give > a sh*t? > > Delia's Way > If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. > They > give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. > The Real Woman's Way > Why do I have a man? > > Finally the most important tip > > Delia's Way > Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles > The Real Woman's Way > left over wine???? Helllloooo
Is this funny? Star if you think so.? Delia's Way Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips. The Real Woman's Way Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Delia's Way To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. The Real Woman's Way Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year. Delia's Way When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. The Real Woman's Way Tesco sell cakes. They even do decorated versions. Delia's Way If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice. The Real Woman's Way If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." Delia's Way Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks The Real Woman's Way It could keep forever. Who eats it? Delia's Way Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. The Real Woman's Way Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont give a sh*t? Delia's Way If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. The Real Woman's Way Why do I have a man? Finally the most important tip Delia's Way Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles The Real Woman's Way left over wine???? Helllloooo
the real woman's way? Delia's way vs. the real woman's way. > > Delia's Way > Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice > cream drips. > The Real Woman's Way > Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, > for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up > eating > it anyway. > > Delia's Way > To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the > potatoes. > The Real Woman's Way > Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year. > > Delia's Way > When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry > cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the > cake. > The Real Woman's Way > Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions. > > Delia's Way > If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still > cooking, drop in a potato slice. > The Real Woman's Way > If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's > tough. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you > will > eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." > > Delia's Way > Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will > keep for weeks. > The Real Woman's Way > It could keep forever. Who eats it? > > Delia's Way > Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your > forehead. > The throbbing will go away. > The Real Woman's Way > Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of > vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont > care? > > Delia's Way > If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. > They > give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. > The Real Woman's Way > Why do I have a man? > > Finally the most important tip > > Delia's Way > Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles > The Real Woman's Way > Leftover wine???? Hello!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Which one are you? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Im more with delia.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Delia's Way star if you like it? Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent > ice-cream drips . > The Real Woman's Way > Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. > You > are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. > > Delia's Way > To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the > potatoes. > The Real Woman's Way > Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year. > > Delia's Way > When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the > dry > cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the > cake. > The Real Woman's Way > Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions. > > Delia's Way > If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a > potato slice. > The Real Woman's Way > If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh!t. Please > recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it > and I > don't care how bad it tastes." > > > Delia's Way > Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it > will > keep for weeks > The Real Woman's Way > It could keep forever. Who eats it? > > > Delia's Way > Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your > forehead. > The throbbing will go away. > The Real Woman's Way > Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces > of > vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont > give > a sh*t? > > Delia's Way > If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. > They > give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. > The Real Woman's Way > Why do I have a man? > > Finally the most important tip > > Delia's Way > Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles > The Real Woman's Way > left over wine???? Helllloooo
Would you read this? I am writing a novel about a girl named Story and her boyfriend Muse. The bf tells Story that the gods are just imaginary friends. Story asks Loki to prover him wrong. So loki leaves a bag of magic-laced weed, which both her and her bf smoke. Loki takes over the bf and uses his body and Story's imagination to end the world. Again. Anyways, this is a scene from when Story is introduced to all the gods living on earth. They walk to the table and take their seats. Story opens her menu and looks at Lokke in disgust. “I can cook anything on here for half the price in half the time. Just so you know.” Lokke toys with his glass of water. “My dear, one does not eat out for the food alone. Ambience is everything in the world of fine dining. The linens, the little penguins with their trays of beautifully arranged plates, and most of all, the other diners. A restaurant is theater, entertainment. Strangers, to watch. Ugly people in outfits they have no business wearing. Fat people who order a whole roast pig and a Diet Coke. Theater at it’s finest.” His gaze wanders to the plain man in the corner. “So what, is this some kind of date? Do you think just because you’re in his body, that I’ll fuck you? That you can just buy me dinner and throw in a few witty jokes and suddenly I just start liking you again? Fuck that.” Lokke grins. “My dear, I can get goddesses. Why would I ever even consider a sniveling, mortal brat like yourself?” Story, despite her anger, was offended. “What, didn’t you just tell me that’s what I’m to become, a goddess? I’m not good enough for you?” Lokke grins bigger. “No you’re not. Sorry. And I’m not buying you dinner, I stole your bank card. Now shut up and let daddy work, okay?” Lokke raises his hand to hail a waiter. “Yes, sir, are you ready for something to drink. An appetizer, maybe?” Story kicked Lokke under the table. “Yeah, he’ll have a big glass of shut the fuck up. With a twist of lime.” The waiter raised his eyebrows at her, then turned to Lokke as if to say ‘ and what are you going to do about this’. Loki motioned for him to lean closer and whispered in his ear “Poor thing just lost her boyfriend. Awful tragedy, left her crazy, you see. Total schizo, and a drunk, besides. I’ll try and keep her under control, okay buddy?” The waiter nodded. “Wine, sir?” “Pinot Noir, the whole bottle, and two glasses.” “Very good, sir.” When the waiter was out of sight, Lokke kicked back, hard. “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” Story yelled out, grasping her leg. Lokke giggled silently. “Oh, dear. I’m so sorry. Was that your gimpy leg? My bad. The man in the corner noticed the couple now. Oh yes. And he was walking their way. The waiter had also returned, and gave Story a smile of pity as he poured the wine. The man stood behind Story and cleared his throat loudly. “Excuse me ma’m, but do keep your outbursts to yourself. SOME of us are trying to keep our dinner a bit more…low-key.” Story had been in the middle of a big gulp of wine when he said it. Helpless to stop it, she sprayed the fine red wine all over Lokke’s nice white suit as she laughed loudly, throwing in an unladylike snort for good measure. The waiter promptly brought Lokke a damp towel and club soda, and brought her a bib. Lokke dabbed at his suit, calm as can be. “Puns, Story, are the lowest form of humor.” He glanced up at the man behind her. “Sheep-lover” The man raised his eyebrows. “Goat-fucker”. Lokke stood and shook his hand. “Fancy meeting you here. So, how’s Heaven.” The man tightened his grip. “Fine. How’s your mom?” Lokke released his hand. “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask your dad?” Lokke pulled out a chair for the man, and he sat as well. The waiter returned with a pitcher of ice water. “Water, sir?” The man’s eyes smiled for him. “Wine, actually.” “Very good sir.” “So, why did Laufey win when they moved Survivor to Norway?” The man looked at Story when he asked this, and winked. “I don’t know. Why are you sitting here, again?” Story finished her second glass of Pinot. “Because she couldn’t get voted off the island!” The man began to laugh, but it died on his lips as he saw the blank stares facing back at him. “She’s an island….she couldn’t get voted off…aw, fuck it, man. You all have no sense of humor.” The waiter was back, eager to take their order before Story got to her third glass. “Are we ready to order, then?” Story spoke first, “I’ll have a salad. By salad I mean lettuce, tomato, onion and cheese. With ranch dressing. Lots of it.” Lokke looked at her with disgust. “I find your attitude no longer a-musing, love. Ranch dressing, indeed!” He turned to the waiter. “The lady and I will have the Kobe sirloin with the truffle infused au jus, and the gratin of summer squash.” “And for you sir?” The waiter looked at the man expectantly. “I’ll have the pan seared Ahi tuna. And can you bring us some rolls?” Lokke snickered. “Bread and fishes? How cliché!” The man sipped his wine. “Didn’t someone sew your mouth shut?” Loki finished his glass in one drink. “Didn’t someone crucify you?” The man tipped his glass at Lokke. “Touche’ “ He leaned in, and stared into Lokke’s eyes. “I SAID, I’M NOT GAY! JESUS CHRIST, MAN, TAKE A HINT!” The entire restaurant swiveled their heads towards the back in one well orchestrated motion. The theater was open for business. The man laughed and so did Lokke. Story was now deep into her cups, and wondered what the hell was so funny. Loki and the man hugged, laughing still. The man dabbed at his eyes, his laughter fading. “I see you’re trying the something new. A body. It…well, it suits you I suppose.” Lokke nodded. “Yeah, I figured I’d try the whole ‘take over the the body of a mortal to bring rebirth to the world’ thing this time.” The man looked unimpressed. “It’s been done.” He turned to Story. “I found, from my own experiences, that having partners can be a great way to end up high and dry. And dead.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Don’t think I haven’t tried.” Lokke poured the man another glass. “How IS Judas these days?” The man ignored him and turned to story. “ You see that man over there?” Loki piped in loudly. “Yeah, that fat one, over there. HEY BUDDY, SEA WORLD CALLED. THEY NEED YOU BACK IN AN HOUR!” Story laughed, and the man continued. “That’s Buddha.” “What about that guy over there?” Story pointed at an Arab man dining across the room. “HEY, LOOK EVERYBODY! OSAMA IS LOOSE! GIT ‘EM CLETUS!” Lokke laughed louder. The man cleared his throat. “Allah.” “And him?” She pointed at a Richard Gere- wannabe with an eyepatch, sitting near the door. Loki failed to offend. “That man? That man is my brother.” Well, why Muse? Story and Muse are highly imaginative versions of me and my boyfriend. I do a lot of paintings, and most of them are of him, so I started calling him Muse. It's a pet name that became a character. As for Story, I guess the name came from a conversation I had about the death of myth. A friend of mine made a point that what we may take as inconsequential in this life could become myth in a few thousand years. To quote him "Myths are just stories. Hell, we've all got our stories, don't we?". And the whole Loki thing should be obvious, I"m a Lokian and this project is an offering to him. Thanks for your advice, I actually had done no proofreading, it was a total rough draft. Feel free to email me. You were most helpful.
Helpful Things-Who Knew?? (star if you like it)? >=========================================== > > >Sealed envelope - > >Put in the freezer for a few hours, > >then slide a knife under the flap. > >The envelope can then be resealed. > >(hmmmmmm.). >============================================ > >Use Empty toilet paper roll > >to store appliance cords. > >It keeps them neat > >and you can write on the roll > what appliance it belongs to. > ============================================ >For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: > >get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. > >Pour it all over the steps. > >They won't refreeze.(wish I had known this for the last 40 years) >================================================== >Crayon marks on walls? > >This worked wonderfully! > >A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. > >Comes off with little effort, > >(elbow grease that is!). >============================================ >Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops > >(like store receipt BLUE)... > >Rubbing alcohol on paper towel. >================================================== >Whenever I purchase a box of SOS Pads, > >I immediately take a pair of scissors > >and cut each pad into halves. > >After years of having to throw away rusted > >and unused and smelly pads, > >I finally decided that this would be much more economical. > >And now a box of SOS pads last me indefinitely! > >In fact, > >I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way! >============================================ >Blood stains on clothes? > >Not to worry! > >Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide > >on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. > >Works every time! > >Now, where to put the body? >================================================ >Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside > >and horizontal for inside windows. > >This way you can tell which side has the streaks. > >Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. > >Don't wash windows on a sunny day. > >They will dry too quickly and will probably streak. >================================================ >Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb > >in any room to create a lovely light scent > >in each room when the light is turned on. >================================================ >Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers > >and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen. >================================================ >Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer > >for at least 3 hours prior to burning. >================================================ >To clean artificial flowers, > >pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. > >Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt > >and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! > >Works like a charm! >================================================= >To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, > >simply add a drop or two of dish soap > >and enough water to cover bottom of pan, > >and bring to a boil on stovetop. >================================================ >Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray > >before pouring in tomato based sauces > >and there won't be any stains. >================================================ > >Wrap celery in aluminum foil > >when putting in the refrigerator > >and it will keep for weeks. >================================================ >When boiling corn on the cob, > >add a pinch of sugar > >to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness. >================================================ >Cure for headaches: > >Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. > >The throbbing will go away. >================================================ >Don't throw out all that leftover wine: > >Freeze into ice cubes for future use > >in casseroles and sauces. > >Left over wine? > >What's that? (lol) >================================================ >To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, > >try applying soap on the area > >And you will experience instant relief. >================================================ >Ants, ants, ants everywhere .... > >Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. > >So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor > >or wherever ants tend to march. > >See for yourself. >================================================ >Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. > >It does a good job and better still, > >leaves a lovely smell to the shine. >================================================ >When you get a splinter, > >reach for the scotch tape > >before resorting to tweezers or a needle. > >Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, > >then pull it off. > >Scotch tape removes most splinters > >painlessly and easily. >================================================ >Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. > >Clean a toilet. > >Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets, > >wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. > >The citric acid and effervescent action > >clean vitreous China. ================================================ >Clean a vase. > >To remove a stain from the bottom > >of a glass vase or cruet, > >fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets. >================================================ >Polish jewelry. > >Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water > >and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. >================================================= >Clean a thermos bottle. > >Fill the bottle with water, > >drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, > >and let soak for an hour > >(or longer, if necessary). >================================================ >Unclog a drain. > >Clear the sink drain by dropping > >three Alka Seltzer Tablets down the drain > >followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. > >Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water. >=============================================== >Do your friends a favor. > >Pass this information on to a friend! > >I just did. > >Makes you wonder about ingesting > >Alka Seltzer, doesn't it? > > > > > >
anyone know of these useless facts? Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. The dollar symbol ($) is a U combined with an S (U.S.) Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. The Statue of Liberty's tablet is two feet thick. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is 'Live Free or Die'. These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord. The straw was probably invented by Egyptian brewers to taste in-process beer without removing the fermenting ingredients which floated on the top of the container. David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie. The United States government keeps its supply of silver at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, NY There are only thirteen blimps in the world. Nine of the thirteen blimps are in the United States. The existing biggest blimp is the Fuji Film blimp. Naugahyde, plastic "leather" was created in Naugatuck, Connecticut. The Swiss flag is square. The word 'pound' is abbreviated 'lb.' after the constellation 'libra' because it means 'pound' in Latin, and also 'scales'. The abbreviation for the British Pound Sterling comes from the same source: it is an 'L' for Libra/Lb. with a stroke through it to indicate abbreviation. Sames goes for the Italian lira which uses the same abbreviation ('lira' coming from 'libra'). So British currency (before it went metric) was always quoted as "pounds/shillings/pence", abbreviated "L/s/d" (libra/solidus/denarius). The three largest land-owners in England are the Queen, the Church of England and Trinity College, Cambridge. The monastic hours are matins, lauds, prime, tierce, sext, nones, vespers and compline. If you come from Manchester, you are a Mancunian. No animal, once frozen solid (i.e., water solidifies and turns to ice) survives when thawed, because the ice crystals formed inside cells would break open the cell membranes. However there are certain frogs that can survive the experience of being frozen. These frogs make special proteins which prevent the formation of ice (or at least keep the crystals from becoming very large), so that they actually never freeze even though their body temperature is below zero Celsius. The water in them remains liquid: a phenomenon known as 'supercooling.' If you disturb one of these frogs (just touching them even), the water in them quickly freezes solid and they die. The white part of your fingernail is called the lunula. Madrid is the only European capital city not situated on a river. The name for fungal remains found in coal is sclerotinite. The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane. Emus cannot walk backwards. It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear. The shopping mall in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada has the largest water clock in North America. Both writer Edgar Allen Poe and LSD advocate Timothy Leary were kicked out of West Point. The word posh, which denotes luxurious rooms or accomodations, originated when ticket agents in England marked the tickets of travelers going by ship to the Orient. Since there was no air conditioning in those days, it was always better to have a cabin on the shady side of the ship as it passed through the Mediterranean and Suez area. Since the sun is in the south, those with money paid extra to get cabin's on the left, or port, traveling to the Asia, and on the right, or starboard, when returning to Europe. Hence their tickets were marked with the initials for Port Outbound Starboard Homebound, or POSH. The top layer of a wedding cake, known as the groom's cake, traditionally is a fruit cake. That way it will save until the first anniversery. The German Kaiser Wilhelm II had a withered arm and often hid the fact by posing with his hand resting on a sword, or by holding gloves. The forward pass was created by the football team at Saint Louis University. In every show that Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt (The Fantasticks) wrote, there is at least one song about rain. A kind of tortoise in the Galapagos Islands has an upturned shell at its neck so it can reach its head up to eat cactus branches. The only city whose name can be spelled completely with vowels is Aiea, Hawaii, located approximately twelve miles west of Honolulu. Parthenogenesis is the term used to describe the process by which certain animals are able to reproduce themselves in successive female generations without intervention of a male of the species. At least one species of lizard is known to do so. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten. The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat", which means "the king is dead". The ship, the Queen Elizabeth 2, should always be written as QE2. QEII is the actual queen. "Quisling" is the only word in the English language to start with "quis." All of the cobble stones that used to line the streets in New York were originally weighting stones put in the hulls of Belgian ships to keep an even keel. Nepal is the only country without a rectangular flag (it looks like two pennants glued on on top of the other) Libya has the only flag which is all one color with no writing or decoration on it The only borough of New York City that isn't an island (or part of an island) is the Bronx. The 1957 Milwaukee Braves were the first baseball team to win the World Series after being relocated. The tune for the "A-B-C" song is the same as "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." When a coffee seed is planted, it takes five years to yield it's first consumable fruit. The common goldfish is the only animal that can see both infra-red and ultra-violet light. Linn's Stamp News is the world's largest weekly newspaper for stamp collectors. Tennessee is bordered by more states than any other. The eight states are Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and Virginia. Des Moines has the highest per capita Jello consumption in the U.S The Western-most point in the contiguous United States is Cape Alava, Washington. There are only three animals with blue tongues, the Black Bear, the Chow Chow dog and the blue-tongued lizard. The first fossilized specimen of Austalopithecus afarenisis was named Lucy after the palentologists' favorite song, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, by the Beatles. Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head." The geographical center of North America is near Rugby, North Dakota. The infinity sign is called a lemniscate. Hacky-sack was invented in Turkey. If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long. There are six five words in the English language with the letter combination "uu." Muumuu, vacuum, continuum, duumvirate and duumvir, residuum. The "Calabash" pipe, most often associated with Sherlock Holmes, was not used by him until William Gillette (an American) portrayed Holmes onstage. Gillette needed a pipe he could keep in his mouth while he spoke his lines. Most Americans' car horns beep in the key of F. Dirty Harry's badge number is 2211. The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular. The shortest French word with all five vowels is "oiseau" meaning bird. Camel's milk does not curdle. "Mr. Mojo Risin" is an anagram for Jim Morrison. The ball on top of a flagpole is called the truck. A person from the country of Nauru is called a Nauruan; this is the only palindromic nationality. The word "modem" is a contraction of the words "modulate, demodulate." Oliver Cromwell was hanged and decapitated two years after he had died. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. Iowa has more independent telephone companies than any other state. Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time. Hamsters love to eat crickets. The only "real" food that U.S. Astronauts are allowed to take into space is pecan nuts. The word "queueing" is the only English word with five consecutive vowels. The first Eagle Scout west of the Mississippi is buried in San Marcos, Texas. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. Roberta Flack wrote "Killing Me Softly" about singer Don McLean. The Greek version of the Old Testament is called the Septuagint. Spencer Eldon was the name of the naked baby on the cover of Nirvana's album All three major 1996 Presidential candidates, Clinton, Dole and Perot, are left-handed. The Madagascan Hissing Cockroach is one of the few insects who give birth to live young, rather than laying eggs. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention the name of God. Sheriff came from Shire Reeve. During early years of feudal rule in England, each shire had a reeve who was the law for that shire. When the term was brought to the United States it was shortned to Sheriff. An animal epidemic is called an epizootic. Dracula is the most filmed story of all time, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is second and Oliver Twist is third. The silhouette on the NBA logo is Jerry West. The silhouette on the Major League Baseball logo is Harmon Killebrew. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P. The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal, right next to your temple, is called a tragus. Soweto in South Africa ws derived from SOuth WEst TOwnship. Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants. The Andy Griffth Show was the first spin-off in TV history. It was a spin-off of the Danny Thomas Show. Goat's eyes have rectangular pupils. Walt Disney's autograph bears no resemblance to the famous Disney logo. Other than humans, black lemurs are the only primates that may have blue eyes. The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used. The two longest one-syllable words in the English language are "screeched" and "strengths." Great Britain was the first county to issue postage stamps. Hence, the postage stamps of Britain are the only stamps in the world not to bear the name of the country of origin. However, every stamp carries a relief image or a silhouette of the monarch's head instead. Images for picture stamps in the United States are commissioned by the United States Postal Service Department of Philatelic Fulfillment. Artist Constantino Brumidi fell from the done of the U.S. Capitol while painting a mural around the rim. He died four months later. Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only Greece and Australia have participated in every Games. There were no squirrels on Nantucket until 1989. Cathy Rigby is the only woman to pose nude for Sports Illustrated. (August 1972) Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan. Will Clark of the Texas Rangers is a direct descendant of William Clark of Lewis and Clark. When ocean tides are at their highest, they are called "spring tides." When they are at their lowest, they are call "neep tides." February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. The last NASCAR driver to serve jail time for running moonshine was Buddy Arrington. Many Japanese golfers carry "hole-in-one" insurance, because it is traditional in Japan to share one's good luck by sending gifts to all your friends when you get an "ace." The price for what the Japanese term an "albatross" can often reach $10,000. The difference between male and female blue crabs is the design located on their apron (belly.) The male blue crab has the Washington Monument while the female apron is shaped like the U.S. Capitol. It takes a lobster approxiamately seven years to grow to be one pound. The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding. The lot numbers for the cyanide-tainted Tylenol capsules scare back in 1982 were MC2880 and 1910MD. Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds. The Roman emperor Caligula made his horse a senator. At latitude 60 degrees south you can sail all the way around the world. A Chinese checkerboard has 121 holes. The hyoid bone, in your throat, is the only bone in the body not attached to another bone. Mice, whales, elephants, giraffes and man all have seven neck vertebra. Sunbeams that shine down through the clouds are called crespucular rays. Very small clouds that look like they have been broken off of bigger clouds are called scuds. On a dewy morning, if you look at your shadow in the grass, the dew drops shine light back to your eye creating a halo called a heilgenschein (German for halo.) The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is "and the rest of the day to yourself." Giraffes have no vocal cords. Joe DiMaggio had more home runs than strikeouts during his career. All porcupines float in water. Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio. A-1 Steak Sauce contains both orange peel and raisins. Many northern parishes (counties) of Louisiana did not agree with the Confederate movement. To show their disapproval, they changed their names. That's why there is a Union Parish, Jefferson Parish, etc. The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites. Residents of the island of Lesbos are Lesbosians, rather than Lesbians. (Of course, lesbians are called lesbians because Sappho was from Lesbos.) The Chinese ideogram for 'trouble' symbolizes 'two women living under one roof'. German has a wood for the peace offerings brought to your mate when you've committed some conceived slight. This is "drachenfutter" or dragon's food. In Chinese, the words for crisis and opportunity are the same. No word in the English language rhymes with month. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them use to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired." The poisonous copperhead smells likefresh cut cucumbers. In Disney's "Fantasia", the Sorcerer's name is "Yensid" (Disney backwards.) The smallest mushroom's name is "Hop-low." Anne Boleyn had six fingernails on one hand. Mustard gas was invented in the McKinley Building on the American University campus. Additionally, preliminary work on the Manhattan Project was done in that building. The government used the McKinley Building because of its unusual archticture. If there would be any type of large explosion inside the building, the building would implode onto itself, containing any lethal gas or nuclear material. The building now houses the Physics Department. When angered, the ears of Tazmanian devils turn a pinkish-red. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. The naval rank of "Admiral" is derived from the Arabic phrase "amir al bahr", which means "lord of the sea". The Les Nessman character on the TV series WKRP in Cincinnati wore a band-aid in every episode. Either on himself, his glasses, or his clothing. A coat hanger is 44 inches long if straightened The roads on the island of Guam are made with coral. Guam has no sand. The sand on the beaches is actually ground coral. When concrete is mixed, the coral sand is used instead of importing regular sand from thousands of miles away. Mt. Vernon Washington grows more tulips than the entire country of Holland. Jamie Farr (who played Klinger on M*A*S*H) was the only member of the cast who actually served as a soldier in the Korean war. The southern most city in the United States is Na'alehu, Hawaii. Alaska was the only part of the United States that was invaded by the Japanese during WWII. The territory was the island of Adak in the Aleutian Chain. Woodward Ave in Detroit, Michigan carries the designation M-1, named so because it was the first paved road anywhere. Michigan was the first state to plow it's roads and the first to adopt a yellow dividing line. Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village". The longest chapter in the Bible is Psalm 119. The shortest verse in the Bible is "Jesus wept." Way back when they were using marble columns, the people selling the columns would carve out the centers and fill it with wax.So the people buying them started asking "Is it without wax?" Or in other words "Are you sincere?" Zaire is the world leader in cobalt mining, producing two-thirds of the world's cobalt supply. No modern language has a true concept of "I am." It is always used linked with are in reference of another verb. Little known Cathedral Caverns near Grant, Alabama has the world's largest cave opening, the largest stalagmite (Goliath), and the largest stalagmite forest in the World. The only person ever to decline a Pulitzer Prize for Fiction was Sinclair Lewis for his book Arrowsmith. Maine is the only state that borders on only one state. There are almost twice as many people in Rhode Island than there are in Alaska. Kudzu is not indigenous to the South, but in that climate it can grow up to six inches a day. Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ? The word 'byte' is a contraction of 'by eight.' The word 'pixel' is a contraction of either 'picture cell' or 'picture element.' Ralph Lauren's original name was Ralph Lifshitz. Bananas do not grow on trees, but on rhizomes. Astronauts in the Space Shuttle are weightless not because there is no gravity in space, but because they are in free fall around the Earth. St. Augustine was the first major proponent of the "missionary" position. Lizzie Borden was acquitted. Alexander Hamilton was shot by Aaron Burr in the groin. Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category. Roger Ebert is the only film critic to have ever won the Pulitzer prize. A scholar who studies the Marquis de Sade is called a Sadian, not a Sadist (of course). Tribeca in Manhattan stands for TRIangle BElow CAnal street. Soho stands for SOuth of HOuston street. Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church. Theworld's largest wine cask is in Heidleberg, Germany. Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an aligator while he hosted "Lorne Greene's Wild Kingdom." Cat's urine glows under a blacklight. Seven Olympic gold medal winners eventually went on to win the Heavyweight Championship of the World Kerimski Church in Finland is world's biggest church made of wood.The St. Louis Gateway Arch had a projected death toll while it was being built. No one died. The average ear of corn has eight-hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows. A cat has four rows of whiskers. Vincent Van Gogh comitted suicide while painting Wheat Field with Crows. An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes. Jelly Belly jelly beans were the first jelly beans in outer space when they went up with astronauts in the June 21, 1983 v